HUMANS ARE ANIMALS

humans are animals. in the sense that our behaviours are very similar. the animals we saw down in island bush camp were very shy and skittish - they're not used to humans. the animals at the main area, however, are more comfortable around humans so they don't run off. they've learned, through exposure, that humans aren't a threat; they've become part of the environment.

i look at how i behave in different environments and i'm not that much different than the animals. with my family, i hardly speak. i probably seem very cold to many people. but when i'm alone or with people who share similar values to me, i behave very differently.

in our family, we have many alphas so i sit back and observe. i do this in crowded environments too because i don't find value in small talk. one of my family members said that that's 'my problem. that i'm unable to just have light-hearted conversations; that everything has to be meaningful to me.' and he's not wrong. but i don't think that's a problem. i think that's just who i am. and i think his desire for the opposite is just who he is. i can't change who i am, nor do i want to. in the same way that he can't change who he is. is the onus not then on the person to accept the individual for who they are rather than on expecting the individual to change? if we're constantly changing to become what others want us to be, who are we becoming? what part of your individuality are you sacrificing in order to be accepted by others?

instead of being critical of others' differences, how can we learn to embrace them? to meet them where they are and accept them for all that they are?

i think a good starting point is to realise that people are going to have different values than you. and that's okay. a difference in values doesn't mean we can't still appreciate an individual for all that they are, to acknowledge underneath all of those differences, they're still a human being. a human being that wants exactly what you do; to love and be loved. this reality should be the core of all interactions, regardless of how different someone might be from you.

so how can you create an environment that accepts someone for all that they are, regardless of how different they might be from you?

IF IT'S THERE, WE'LL USE IT

humans lack willpower. especially in relation to things we are addicted to. often when we make claims of becoming 'sober' or quitting smoking, or not eating particular items, we do so in a state of mind that has the best of intentions. we do it when our willpower is strong and our temptation weak. what humans do poorly is account for times when our willpower is weak and our temptation strong; times when our mental state is most vulnerable. perhaps we're lonely. perhaps we're bored. perhaps we're hurting. these are the moments we don't plan for when we decide to go 'clean'. and it's in these moments that we often 'relapse'.

there's a reason that alcoholics are not permitted to have alcohol in their house when they're trying to give up drinking. because no matter how strong willed someone is, if something is accessible, it's more likely to be used than if something isn't accessible. i liken this to shootings in america - the pure act of owning a gun means the likelihood of shooting someone is 100% higher than if someone doesn't own a gun. what we don't have, we can't use.

this is true too, for internet and our phones. for the past few years i've spoken openly about my desire to limit my phone usage. i recently travelled to Africa where i so badly wanted to disconnect, to be fully present with my family, and to experiment without having a phone. and it worked, when i didn't have internet. for almost five days, there was no internet access. we were in the bush, with no power. so all i could use my phone for was taking photos, but even that was limited because i had no means to charge my phone once it went flat. and these five days happened to be the best five days of my trip. why? because i was fully present. because i couldn't be anywhere but where i was.

when we got back to the main camp, i messaged my partner stating that i really didn't want to use my phone for the rest of the trip. she naturally understood and encouraged me to be present too. and as much as i tried / wanted to, i couldn't. the mere notion of having wifi, meant it was accessible. and if it was accessible, i was using it. and i hate that about myself. i wish that i had the willpower not to. the only time i didn't use my phone was when i didn't have it with me - when i left it in my room for lunch or dinner. but if it was on me, i used it.

the worst part is that even if i wasn't actively using my phone, my mind wasn't fully present. i was somewhere else. i was thinking about home. i was thinking about my partner. about soccer. and all i needed to do was turn off airplane mode and i would be transported back there. but without internet, that transportation didn't occur. that distraction didn't happen. westerners travelling to these African camps are all pushing for more internet access; for quicker wifi and for greater range. but i plead that they remove wifi altogether. because internet detracts from one's experience. it detracts from being present. and no matter how much someone might want to disconnect, if it's there, we'll use it.

THE VALUE OF TRAVEL

travelling is transformative. it transports you to another world, another culture, another perspective. and when you return 'home', home all of a sudden feels less complete. less exciting. less fulfilling.

i've recently returned from a two and a half week trip to Zambia with my family and i'm currently experiencing the aforementioned feelings. whilst away, i was injected with a richness that wasn't monetary. it was a richness for a different way of living. although part of the richness was undoubtedly due to where we went and the people we met, a lot of the richness came from who we went with and how we spent that time.

every day was much the same in structure - 5:15am wake up, 6-11am safari, 11:30am lunch, 12:30pm-2:30pm read/swim/nap, 3:30-7:30pm safari, 8pm dinner, 9:30pm bed. so it would be easy to become bored, especially once those more elusive animals (leopards, lions. hunting dogs) had been sighted. but this is where one's company influences your experience. i was fortunate to go with my family - something i was admittedly more excited about than seeing wild animals. my family cared about seeing those elusive animals, as anyone does, but they had what many others didn't - an appreciation for all animals. an excitement for all animals. 14 days on safari can easily become mundane, but when there's a genuine excitement for a baby puku, or two impalas fighting, or a giraffe sitting down, or a hippo running, or the 30th squirrel, the monotony is never experienced.

a lot of my fondness from this trip is attributed to my family. to seeing the way they interacted with others. the way my brother embraced and learnt the local language. the way my other brother kept things fresh by implementing 'odds' of seeing certain animals. the joy and sparkle in my parent's eyes as they saw things they had yet to see on previous African adventures. but i think the best part about all of this was their presence. minimal wifi meant we were all there, all the time. we were content with just 'being'. there wasn't a rush, nor a need to share what we had seen with others back home - all of that could wait. we were fully immersed in our African experience and i think that is what made it what it was.

i've been home for nearly a week and i find myself constantly questioning; is this it? is this what every day of your life is going to look like? i've never been one to crave travel; i've always enjoyed the stability of being in one location and the company of my cats. but having travelled with my family and having enjoyed the immersive experience, i feel itchy for more. there's so much to learn and discover from other parts of the world. things that cannot be learnt from books or from others. there's a richness in travelling that cannot be substituted with money. a richness that is fulfilling. a richness that is transformative. a richness that i now crave.