OUR NEED FOR CONTROL
as humans, we feel we need to be in control. we try to control our lives. we try to control other people. we try to predict the future. and we do so because being in control gives us a sense of security. it gives us a sense of autonomy. but our need for control, and our struggle to relinquish it, is one of the reasons why we suffer.
the truth is, nothing in life is predictable. and rarely in life does anything ever go according to plan - how can it? there are so many external factors that play into every situation, how can we possibly account for all of them and predict the outcome of something that hasn’t even happened yet? we can’t. and yet, we still try.
our need for control is really just our resistance to what is. any time something happens that isn’t what we anticipated, it’s an opportunity for us to move somewhere else. unfortunately though, we often become stuck on our idea of how things should be or how people should be, that our resistance creates pain and suffering.
i’m guilty of this too. i’m currently experiencing something that i’m having a difficult time accepting when in reality i should be asking, okay, where to from here? what can i learn from this? in life we always have three choices: we accept what is. and if we can’t accept it, we change it. and if we can’t change it, then we remove ourselves from it.
there’s nothing heroic about suffering. and often the suffering we experience is created not because of external circumstances, but because of our unwillingness to accept them.
so what are you having a hard time accepting and what can you learn from letting go of your need to control it?