through most of my life, people have told me that i think too much. that i analyse too much. that i can be “too much”.
but here’s what i think. we all think, all the time, it’s just that i choose to concern myself with trying to understand things that have happened in not only my life, but in others’ lives too. because to understand, is to have compassion. it’s to be more open. loving. forgiving.
any time i’ve been “hurt” - i put my feelings aside and i try to consider why the other person might have done what they did. it’s easy to blame, to degrade, to state that this person is selfish, an asshole, a prick, but what’s not easy is to empathise. what’s not easy is to consider why they did or said what they did. this is not about excusing behaviour, it’s about explaining it.
sometimes though, you might not understand. you might not be able to explain their behaviour. how then, can you still choose to forgive? to let go? to love?
when i read the art of happiness by the dalai llama in 2012, it profoundly changed my heart. the fundamental lesson in the book is that we, as humans, all want the exact same thing. we all want happiness and we all want to avoid suffering. and if we could see each fellow human as just that, as individuals seeking happiness and avoiding suffering, we would feel connected in ways we never have before.
we are all human. we all want happiness. we all want to avoid suffering. but we also all want to love and be loved. and loving comes from understanding. it comes from forgiveness. it comes from compassion.