• nicole calder

BEFORE YOU CALL THEM CRAZY...

try to understand. behind every insecurity is a need that hasn’t been met. a desire that went unfulfilled. and a belief that has become distorted.


all humans want is to love and be loved. but sometimes when individuals have been hurt, been rejected, they internalise that as there must be something wrong with them. this belief system carries on into future relationships - to the point where they try to sabotage something good because deep down they don’t believe they’re worthy of being loved. because at one point, that’s how they were made to feel.


but they are worthy. you are worthy. we’ve all done some fucked up things when our needs weren’t being met - that doesn’t make us any less deserving of the basic human desire to love and be loved. and sometimes all it takes is a person - someone who makes us feel safe, someone who is willing to sit with us through the shit, sit with us through our “craziness”, to help us realise, oh...maybe i am deserving of love. maybe i don’t need to sabotage this. maybe, just maybe, i’m not so crazy after all. because the truth is - no one is. and you’re no exception. you’re just a human who hasn’t had their needs met. and there’s nothing wrong with that.


so before you call someone crazy, listen to what they’re saying. try to hear what needs haven’t been met in the past and offer them a safe place in which their distorted beliefs cannot survive. because it’s within this safety that people heal. that people connect. that people love. and that? that’s what we’re all here for after all.

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