• nicole calder

WHY DO WORDS HURT?

last week i had a situation where someone said some hurtful things to me. immediately after the words were expressed, i broke down in tears. i was distraught. how could she say something so mean? so personal? so hurtful?


i took the rest of the night to have a sook. but in the morning i questioned, why did those words hurt? why do i care what she said? at the end of the day, they’re just words. so why do words hurt?


words hurt because of our attachment to them and our attachment to our identity. we have an idea of “who we are” and when someone says something that challenges that idea, we get upset.


that next morning, i studied my feelings with curiosity. is there any validity in what she said? do i believe her words? i checked myself. i asked if i thought what she said was true. and it didn’t resonate at all with me. so i made a decision to let it go.


in the past, i would’ve kept analysing. kept questioning. why did this hurt so much? is it because i have so much respect for her? is it because she challenged a part of me i pride myself on? but i didn’t engage in this thinking. this was my mind wanting to create drama out of something that wasn’t that dramatic. they were words. and the words are gone. why keep them alive by reliving the experience over and over again?


so instead of continuing to have a sook, i chose to laugh about it. i changed the energy. and i chose to let it go. and now, there’s no animosity between us. no hate. no resentment. no bitterness. only compassion. love. and joy. feelings we all always have access to, but which we need to choose to be open to.

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