BIRTHDAYS

so tomorrow i’m turning 27. i’ve never thought of birthdays as being a big deal because they’ve never really added that much value to my life. so i wondered, how can i make my birthdays more meaningful? does someone wishing me a happy birthday really add that much value to my life?

and the answer is no. try to think back to last year, can you remember who did and didn’t wish you a happy birthday? can you remember what they said? can you even remember how their message made you feel? the answers, i suspect, are most likely “no”. and that’s because the words “happy birthday” aren’t overly meaningful. it’s like saying “sorry for your loss” when someone’s family/friend/relative passes away. it’s a well-intentioned, but hollow phrase.

so this year, i decided to finally ask for what i want. to ask for something that will add value to my life. something that will make me feel more connected to you than i did before the message. i ask this: if you intend to acknowledge my birthday, please share with me a memory that we’ve experienced together. something that reminds you of me. or perhaps, something that i’ve said that’s resonated with you or impacted you in one way or another.

i understand this type of message requires a lot more effort, but those are the sort of interactions and people i want more of in my life - intentional and meaningful. 👊🏼

YOUR BOSS IS A HUMAN TOO

this past week, i witnessed two men i respect become vulnerable with me. one admitted that he had been struggling with motivation ever since covid-19 hit, the other expressed his insecurities about being inadequate. and it was beautiful and humbling to witness.

often we forget that the people responsible for us are human too. humans that require the same love, nurturing, and understanding that we all require. instead, we expect these people to be super-human. we expect them to not have emotion. to not have a life. to not struggle.

i’m guilty of this - sometimes when i am frustrated at an employer or coach, i get angry. i dehumanise them. i make them out to be a horrible person. but the reality is, they’re not horrible. they’re just human. and they, just like you and me, have their own shit going on too.

so the purpose of this post is two-fold:

1. having compassion towards those in charge for they are just like you and me, human beings with a complex array of emotions and

2. the importance of vulnerability for those in charge. the best way for others to be reminded that you’re human, is to show them. be real. be honest. be human.

HOW TO START A MOVEMENT

Is a leader a leader if no one follows them? Isn’t the primary purpose of a leader to do just that, to lead? But what happens if you don’t have any followers? Does that mean you’re not a leader?

Why is it SO hard to lead an organisation, and lead it well? Is it because of a leader’s inability to adjust their leadership style to the company, to the culture, to ensure that they find a way to influence where they are with what they have? Or, are we perhaps focusing too much on this leader and forgetting the most important type of leadership: the first follower.

As is demonstrated in the above video, it is the first follower that turns that “lone nut” into a leader. It is that first follower that shows courage, courage to support what they stand up for. And because of that courage, they communicate that this leader is worthy of following. That this leader is no longer alone, they are in fact, now a leader.

So instead of promoting the conventional type of leadership, I think we need to be encouraging more leaders in the form of first followers. Leadership can be lonely - but it’s only lonely because many people are too afraid to stand up for what they believe in. I challenge you now then to consider, what do you stand for? Who do you stand with? And how can you be a leader by being a follower?