• nicole calder

BIRTHDAYS

so tomorrow i’m turning 27. i’ve never thought of birthdays as being a big deal because they’ve never really added that much value to my life. so i wondered, how can i make my birthdays more meaningful? does someone wishing me a happy birthday really add that much value to my life?


and the answer is no. try to think back to last year, can you remember who did and didn’t wish you a happy birthday? can you remember what they said? can you even remember how their message made you feel? the answers, i suspect, are most likely “no”. and that’s because the words “happy birthday” aren’t overly meaningful. it’s like saying “sorry for your loss” when someone’s family/friend/relative passes away. it’s a well-intentioned, but hollow phrase.


so this year, i decided to finally ask for what i want. to ask for something that will add value to my life. something that will make me feel more connected to you than i did before the message. i ask this: if you intend to acknowledge my birthday, please share with me a memory that we’ve experienced together. something that reminds you of me. or perhaps, something that i’ve said that’s resonated with you or impacted you in one way or another.


i understand this type of message requires a lot more effort, but those are the sort of interactions and people i want more of in my life - intentional and meaningful. 👊🏼

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