WHAT MAKES A STRONG CULTURE?

safety.

a strong culture is epitomised by the level in which individuals feel they can be themselves and aren't just accepted for that, but embraced for that. it's within this acceptance, this embrace, that people feel valued. feel a part of something bigger than themselves.

when i think about the two environments i am currently involved with, there are a few indicators that highlight the strength of the culture. the first is the acknowledgement of all individuals upon arrival. i remember reading in Hugh Mackay's "The Art of Belonging", the importance of saying hello to your neighbour when you see them. it's less about the interaction and more about saying, "Hey, I see you. You're a human and I acknowledge your existence."

another indicator is the distance in which individuals are willing to drive to be a part of that environment. when i tell people i play for salisbury inter i'm often greeted with, "but that's so far away! why them?" and my answer? because i feel valued. and when you feel valued in an environment, no distance seems too great.

how is conflict resolved on your team? is it addressed, or is it ignored? how do people communicate with one another? do they attack and become defensive? or do they take ownership for their feelings? do people feel safe to express their opinions? or are they silent because of fear? are players berated for mistakes, or encouraged for their efforts? what happens in moments of stress - the ultimate test of a team's culture - do players ask for help? or do they blame?

when people ask what makes a strong culture, it's probably less about what people do and more about how they feel. i can't guarantee that if another club implemented these few examples that their culture would be magically transformed - these behaviours are a by-product of the feeling. the feeling of safety and connection.

so when it comes to a team's culture, instead of focusing on changing behaviours, implementing rules, or 'stress tests' - what if you instead focused on creating this feeling of safety? on prioritising relationships over all else? only then might some of the aforementioned behaviours start to evolve.

TECHNOLOGY DETOX

fitting title given the past few months that i've stepped away from social media and made a conscious effort to significantly reduce my screen time usage. within this time, my mind was free to run rampant. these journal entries are a product of a free, undistracted mind. if you recall in a former post / journal entry, i asked the question: what would you think about if your mind could think about anything? if your mind wasn't fixated on a person, on work, on a situation, on family? what then, would your mind concoct?

and i suppose these journal entries answer that question. these are unedited thoughts and insights into the workings of my mind - this is what my mind came up with when it wasn't distracted by text messages. when it wasn't obsessing over my next post. of what photo to go with what writing. of what time to post to get the most people reading my writing.

so if you've never done so, i highly recommend a technology detox. social media takes up a lot of our mental capacity without our conscious awareness. as do our phones. but when we disengage, when we leave our phones at home, it's truly amazing to see how much richer, deeper, and fulfilling not just our thoughts become, but our resulting relationships too.

I'M ADDICTED TO MY PHONE

this might not be a revelation to anyone else, but i feel it's important for me to acknowledge it. at the end of every week, my iphone gives me a summary of my average screen time - and it's both disgusting and embarrassing.

there have been times where my average screen time has been over 4.5 hours. 4.5 hours?! that's insane. if i was asked in the morning where i was going to find 4.5 hours to sit on my phone, i couldn't answer the question. the reality is, this accumulation of time is not one big chunk - they're isolated periods, usually when we're supposed to be doing something else; driving, working, watching tv, or engaging in conversation.

a few weeks ago i asked myself how i could become more present in my relationships. and the answer was simple: less phone, more connection. since then, i have turned off notifications to my social media apps, i've set time restrictions on those same apps, and i leave my phone in the kitchen overnight.

having analysed my data since implementing these changes, it's highlighted that messages occupy the majority of my screen time. and it's for that reason i am experimenting, again, on myself and my life. i am now no longer using text messages for conversational purposes. if i need something, i'll call. if i want to respond to your message, i'll call. or, better yet, i'll organise a time for us to catch up and chat. so please don't take it personally when i don't reply - i'm trying to add more value to my life. to replace the dopamine i've become addicted to with oxytocin - the chemical necessary for connection.

i'm not perfect and i don't anticipate my implementation of this will run perfectly either. but the point is, i know our lives were not meant to be lived through a screen and unless we make conscious changes to override the addiction we have to our cellular device, we're going to continue missing life and being chronically distracted. i want to be more present. more aware. and more connected to what matters most - people.