THIS ONE WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE

two months ago i came across this book by @_sarahwilson_. i knew nothing about it, but i felt energetically compelled to buy it. buy it; i did, and significantly influence my life; it has.

sarah writes a lot about capitalism, consumerism, climate change, and the effects of technology on society. she discusses how we're all sucked into this more more more mentality - always craving more. consuming more. desiring more. when she first started her business, i quit sugar, her accountants asked her: what are your financial goals? to which sarah replied: i don't have any. she then proceeded to state, i just don't want to be one of those sad people - one of those people who wants enough money to buy a toyota, gets the toyota, and then wants an audi. her goal was to earn enough money to live off the minimum wage for the rest of her life. nothing more.

reading this, and her subsequent decision to not sell her business, but shut it down (to live a life in alignment with what she truly believes), profoundly resonated with me. i've struggled, and have been struggling, with this idea of money. any time i reach a particular financial goal, i find myself wanting to make more, to save more. but then i pause: how much money is enough money? what will more money get me that i don't already have?

the truth is, i don't need more money. i fully acknowledge that i live in a very privileged position - a position many others do not. this position, however, allows me to stop and question, what is truly important? would i live differently if i had $1,000 in my savings compared to $100,000? i would like to think the answer is no.

i've always tried to live a very conscious, intentional, frugal life. only buying what i need. but even still, i live in excess. i've contributed to the consumerist, wasteful society we now live in. and that is why i've engaged in a month-long challenge, accompanied by @jasminestyles6 and @w.a.x.x.x.e.d, where we only buy what we need - groceries and petrol.

this, along with my desire to move to thailand for a year, is the start of me fully embracing this one wild and precious life in which we've been given.

CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF

stress is something all of us are no doubt familiar with. and that in itself is scary - the fact that it is so commonplace. the worst part about stress though is that it's a silent killer.

not only are there significant health effects associated with stress, but stress also affects our relationships. this, in turn, only aids in further deteriorating our health. it's important to acknowledge when you're stressed. it's also important to listen to others when they mention they're concerned about you. although you might feel fine in the moment, often the effects of what we take on have delayed consequences. and this is what i've found within my own life.

just recently my partner mentioned that she was concerned about me because of everything i was taking on. i brushed it off - i'm okay. i can handle this. it wasn't until i uncharacteristically snapped a few nights later and took it out on her that i realised, fuck. i'm really actually not coping.

unfortunately i can't take back what i said or how i acted that night. the point is, i was warned. i had a few people; acquaintances, friends, and partner all address their concerns for my wellbeing. but i proceeded to ignore them. and in ignoring them, i consequently hurt someone when i took my stress out on them.

so the moral of the story is - check yourself and listen. people don't raise their concerns for no reason - they raise their concerns because they can invariably see what you often can't. this isn't to say that my awareness would have prevented my behaviour from occurring, but it might have. and at the very least, perhaps my awareness would allow me to better manage my responsibilities, allowing me to get back to feeling more myself - more full, more vibrant, more giving. right now though, my tank is becoming depleted. so it's time i took a step back to refill my cup.

TRUST PATTERNS

a few years ago, i wrote the following quote: "give me your words and i'll give you nothing. give me your actions and i'll give you my trust. show me consistency and i'll give you my heart."

this quote was inspired by the old age phrase, “actions speak louder than words.” i like to take it one step further though - i encourage people to trust patterns. patterns don't lie, but actions can. someone can be horrible 99% of the time, but do something nice in one moment. is this one action worthy of you giving them your heart?

in the same token, someone can be amazing 99% of the time and mess up once. does that one mistake really warrant dismissing the entire relationship and connection? or is it possible to understand that hey, this person is human and part of being human means they're guaranteed to make mistakes. as bob marley says, "everyone is going to hurt you, you just have to find those worth suffering for."

another important consideration is - does your partner make a conscious effort to change their behaviour? once you've addressed how something hurt you, do they alter their behaviour? or do they keep repeating these 'mistakes'? humans aren't perfect, so no relationship will ever be perfect either. what's important though is the commitment to growth - to resolving whatever it is that arises. to acknowledging hurt when hurt has occurred and taking responsibility for one's role in that. but, the growth comes from the change. and the best way to measure change? through their patterns.

so the next time someone does something really nice for you or the next time someone makes a mistake, ask yourself, is this a consistent occurrence? or is this a once off? find the pattern - past behaviour will invariably predict future behaviours. patterns don't lie, but words and actions can.