how many times have you put off an uncomfortable conversation? and how many times have you been relieved once you've actually had that uncomfortable conversation?
as humans, we have a tendency to opt for the familiar, the comfortable. any time conflict arises, we avoid. we procrastinate. we act like it doesn't really bother us. but when does anything ever get resolved when we take this approach?
having difficult conversations and expressing your feelings is both scary and confronting. scary because you're exposing yourself to judgement and rejection. you're making yourself vulnerable. and it's confronting because you might be admitting to things that you think shouldn't bother you. things that might make you seem conceited. selfish. jealous. but the reality is, admitting to these feelings makes you none of those things - it makes you human.
within this space of discomfort is an opportunity - an opportunity for the other person to see you as just that - a person. a person just like them. a person with needs, just like them. and a person with feelings, just like them.
by avoiding these conversations, you avoid giving the other person an opportunity to see you for you. you also miss out on that person offering an explanation that might reassure you, that might ease your mind and your feelings. i'm guilty of this too. just the other day i was avoiding a difficult phone call because i was afraid of how the other person would react. but rarely has the other person ever responded adversely. more often than not, people respond with compassion, kindness, and gratitude. gratitude for letting them in. and compassion because they understand; they can relate and they can empathise.
confronting your feelings is hard; it's uncomfortable. but it's also extremely rewarding. it's within this space of discomfort that true vulnerability and connection lies. without it, what are you connecting over? the facade that everything is okay? let's delve deeper than superficiality; let's get real. let's get human. let's get connecting.
so, what difficult conversations have you been avoiding?