• nicole calder

SAY SORRY

even if you don't think you're in the wrong.


apologising doesn't mean you accept the other person's behaviour, nor does it mean you don't value yourself. apologising means that you value your friendship, your relationship, and your overall life more than your ego.


because being right is just that, it's egoic. to be right means the other person is wrong - this implies superiority and inferiority, whereas apologising eradicates those lines. apologising humanises the connection. apologising humanises you.


it can be extremely difficult to say sorry in a situation where your ego stubbornly tells you you're not in the wrong or that you don't need to. and it can be even more difficult when you're hurt by the other person's actions. but when you do eventually say sorry, what you'll find is it diffuses the situation and it's often followed by another apology: theirs. because saying sorry is vulnerable. it's humbling. it's hard for anyone to stay mad or upset when an individual steps outside of their ego to genuinely apologise. because what you're left with is just that - a human. a human exactly like you. a human that wants to love and be loved. a human that wants happiness and to avoid suffering. and apologising does just that.


so the next time you are adamant you're not in the wrong, that you don't need to say sorry, ask yourself this - is the cost of saying sorry really worth destroying your relationship? is your ego really that big that it's unable to see what's important? unable to put itself aside to preserve the one thing we were put on life to experience, connection? can you take off your hurt, stubborn hat and put on your understanding, forgiving hat?


forgive others, not only for them, but also for you. saying sorry won't kill you, but not saying sorry could cost you your relationships.

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