• nicole calder

A letter to Dallas Green

Dallas,

I recently attended your concert at the Georgia Theatre, the second time I have been fortunate enough to see you perform live. After your performance, I felt compelled to write to you given how much your music has impacted my life.


Just over two years ago when I first saw you perform, I was deeply in love with this girl. We admittedly first connected over our intense love for your song, “The Girl,” which was fitting given our relationship. Despite this love, I was in an immense amount of pain and so was she. This led to our relationship quickly becoming toxic as we fed off of each other’s’ darkness. I learnt quickly that she could not be there for me, no matter how much I needed her given that she was still processing the loss of her mother earlier in the year – when someone can’t be there for themselves, they certainly can’t be there for you. But that is when I found you. And more specifically, “Sleeping Sickness”. I used to listen to this song on repeat, crying, hurting, and searching. I was being consumed by darkness and I couldn’t save myself. I wanted someone, anyone, to save me. And although the events in my life continued to spiral out of control, for a moment I felt understood. I felt heard. I felt comforted by the words in your music.

Your music had an ability to connect to the deep chasm of pain I was feeling. This has led me to believe that you have suffered greatly because of your ability to connect and understand others’ sufferings. Although I would never wish great suffering upon anyone, I do know that some of the most beautiful people and work have originated from such great pain. Your music, in general, articulates this truth. You have an uncanny ability to write about the depths of pain in a beautiful, harmonious, hopeful way. “Body in a Box” is another favourite of mine for this reason – you take something that is usually considered depressing and you make it almost joyous, but in a way that does not sacrifice the understanding of the pain involved in such events.


I found myself in tears at your recent concert. Tears because of the heaviness I felt in my heart; a heaviness that includes the painful memories and emptiness of my suffering two years prior, but also a heaviness that is deeply grateful for your music, your words, and for you. In 2015, I had considered ending everything. And somehow, I feel that you have been there too. So amidst your pain and your suffering, the work you have created has offered me a friend. A solace. An understanding. Things that I could not find, nor receive, from the world around me. Your words saved me Dallas and I’m not sure I could ever articulate how sincerely grateful I am for that. To this day, I am continually moved by the raw and heartfelt work you produce, so thank you. Thank you for providing a friend for me during my darkest days. Your work is saving lives. And so are you.


In gracious appreciation,


Nicole

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