• nicole calder

DO YOU EVER GET LONELY?

yeah well, me too. and it’s not the most enjoyable feeling. it’s a feeling i try to avoid, to escape, to mask with distractions.


the truth is, no one really likes being alone. not for extended periods of time anyhow. we’re social creatures - we literally need other people. so in the absence of people, it’s not surprising that loneliness ensues.


most of us actually fear being alone. we fear it by distracting ourselves. by hiding in relationships we feel nothing for. by hiding in drugs, sex, busyness. we hide because we don’t want to feel the agonising isolation that loneliness entails.


this is something i’ve been struggling with. and at times it makes me question whether i’m a fraud because of what i write about. but i realise feeling lonely, being lonely, that’s a feeling none of us are immune to. yes, connections help. but one of the main reasons we’re here? to love and be loved. to share our lives with another. companionship is natural to crave - it’s one of life’s most fulfilling experiences.


so the solution? not to run, not to hide, not to fear loneliness, but embrace it. embrace the darkness that exists because of your lightness. learn to make friends with your shadows. to sit in the uncomfortableness. all while understanding, it’s only human to feel lonely. be gentle. be kind. be still.

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