everyone has it. the goal in life is not to find people without baggage, but to find those people whom you're willing to sort through their baggage with.

your role as a friend, or as a partner, is not to take their baggage and carry it as your own. no, it's to help that person sort through their baggage. to provide a safe space in which they feel comfortable to unpack their baggage. to help them rearrange, if necessary. to colour coordinate, if necessary. or to cull, if necessary. to do whatever they need to do to process whatever it is they need to process.

our role in someone's life is not to fix them, nor their problems. our role is merely to accompany them on their journey, to support them when they need support. people don't need fixing, they need understanding.

comprehending this concept is not only liberating for the individual involved, but so too for you. people's problems aren't burdens - they're merely problems. often we think of others' problems as being burdensome because we try to take on what was never ours to take on in the first place. their past and their problems are their lessons to learn. that doesn't mean you can't still be an extremely supportive friend, you can. but being a friend means knowing your role, and your role is not to save. not to fix. not to carry their baggage. your role is to listen, to support, and to understand.

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