TREAT THE MAN, NOT THE SCAN

last tuesday i had surgery on my knee to repair a torn meniscus and to remove the screw from my previous surgery. prior to surgery i had questioned the surgeon as to whether he would repair my supposedly ruptured acl, to which he had a feel of my knee and said “no, because your knee actually doesn’t feel that unstable.” good, i thought.

after surgery i was informed “your acl is entirely in tact.” wait, what? how could that be? nine months prior, i had an mri scan and 4-5 different professional opinions all confirm the same diagnosis: i had completely ruptured my acl. there was no “end point” and a significant difference in laxity between my knees. and for me, i “felt” the pop. i knew what that pop meant. i knew it was my acl. how could i now have a fully functioning acl?

who knows. perhaps i never “fully” tore my acl. perhaps the “pop” was actually my meniscus. or perhaps, me joking with my doctor about healing my acl actually came to fruition.

after receiving my initial diagnosis, the doctor wanted to discuss a reconstruction. i refused. mentally and emotionally i couldn’t go through that again. instead, 4.5 months of devoted conservative management and a further 4.5 months of continued strength work and i have a fully functional acl.

so what does this all mean? for health care professionals, it’s so important to treat the person, not the diagnosis. collectively, due to the law of large numbers, you can successfully predict the outcome of many patients. but individually? you cannot. all individuals respond differently because all individuals are different. as such, they should be treated according to their symptoms and functionality, not what the picture says.

and for individuals, don’t always accept your diagnosis as a life sentence. be open. be curious. be the statistical anomaly.

BELIEF

take a great player, put them in a toxic team. what happens? the great player becomes not-so-great. is it the player’s fault, or is it perhaps the environment?

something that has become increasingly more evident in the sporting world, and the world in general, is the importance of believing in a player / person.

despite playing in the WNPL, the highest local league in the state, the number of players who believe that they’re not good players is astounding. and troublesome too. how could a player of this caliber believe they weren’t good? as a player who believed this myth for 26 years, i can answer: from previous coaches.

when a player is overlooked, particularly a female player, she internalises it. she questions, what did i do wrong? why am i not good enough? how can i be better? and the saddest reality, is often there’s nothing “wrong” with her, other than she’s in the wrong environment.

this current season, i have a teammate who was overlooked at her previous club because he thought she “wasn’t good enough”. she comes into this team, and she starts. not only does she start, but she’s the rock in the midfield and defence. she’s a work horse. and most importantly? she’s an incredible person with such a compassionate nature.

so how do you explain this? did she miraculously become an amazing player? no. what changed was she had a coach that believed in her. a coach that knew she was good enough and committed herself to communicating that message during every game, every training, every interaction.

all it takes is for one person to believe in you. one person to help you realise - you know what? all those other coaches were WRONG. foolish, even, to overlook you. and i’m thankful that i play for a team in which our coach does just that. she builds players up, not breaks them down. and the effect? she’s developed players who are strong. confident. and fearless. players who finally believe, after 26 years, that they are in fact good enough. and that? that’s invaluable.

so be that kind of coach. be that kind of person. be better.

THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES

after receiving the news about my “fully intact acl” i started questioning, so how many times have i actually torn my acl? twice? thrice? what do i tell people? what even happened back on september 6th? what was that “pop”? and why do i even care?

our past is a funny thing. we attach ourselves and our identities to the stories we tell both ourselves and others. but the reality is, we are so much more than any “thing” that has happened to us. we are not our past. we are not our pain. we are who we are today. we are defined by how we choose to live our lives. by our values. our friends. our interests. our priorities. not the stories we tell.

i used to be pretty attached to the idea of learning about others’ pasts as though they were the most defining features in their identity, but i was wrong. yes, our pain undoubtedly shapes us, but it does not define us.

so instead of focusing on the past, on the events i’ve experienced, i’ve found great solace and freedom in letting go. in instead, focusing on the present. focusing on who i am today. on what i want to create. on the influence i want to have.

and the same can be true for you. you are more than the stories you tell yourself. you are more than what has happened to you. you are the person evolving within. you are you. a you that is infinitely more complex than any story could ever do justice in retelling.