Lessons I wish I knew as an aspiring footballer

1.     No one cares about your future as much as you do. Be your own advocate.

2.     Team trainings are not enough – deliberate practice is a must.

3.     Find what works for you – gym, pilates, swimming, boxing, yoga, tennis, etc.

4.     Keep your name known. Look up ‘The Matthew Effect’.

5.     Loyalty comes at a cost (literally, it’s called ‘the loyalty tax’)

6.     No journey is linear. Popcorn pops at different times despite the same heat.

7.     Intent. Intent. Intent. What are you trying to improve? Watch football. Study football. Be thirsty for knowledge. Learning comes from consciousness.

8.     Become a coach. Become a ref. Learn to respect the challenges of each.

9.     Play different positions. What do you hate as a defender? Go do that as a striker.

10.  Go in the middle of ‘rondos’ – less time, less space = quicker on the ball

11.  Be a good teammate. Encourage. Be intentional. Support.

12.  Environment is everything – choose it wisely.

13.  Most coaches (and people in their professions) will be average (look up: normal distribution curve).

14.  You cannot have a standout game every week – regression to the mean. Look to improve your ‘average’.

15.  Work on your strengths more than your weaknesses – this is what sets you apart. Working only on your weaknesses will make you average.

16.  You cannot control performance – only attitude, body language, and work ethic.

17.  Never give the coach a reason not to play you – see #16.

18.  The squeaky wheel gets the oil. See point #1. Ask difficult questions but do so from a growth mindset – what can I be doing to get more playing time?

19.  Self-awareness. What’s your super power? What can you do better than anyone else? What can you do? What can’t you do? What could you do with some training/coaching?

20.  There are many paths to achieve the same goal – no journey is the same. Can’t align the dots looking forward.

21.  Your greatest ability is your availability. See point #3.

22.  Injuries are setbacks for great comebacks. Use the time to become smarter and stronger. They seem like the end of the world, but in your playing career, they’ll just be blips on your résumé.

23.  Football is just a game – keep perspective in life and explore other interests. Who are you outside of football? Needed to get through point #22.

24.  Know what motivates you. Money? Friends? A challenge? Being appreciated? See point #12 and use these values as a guide.

25.  Winning is great, but no one cares. Stay humble. Winning looks good on your résumé, but connections look better on your eulogy.

26.  Find a mentor. Or a coach. Someone who knows more than you and can challenge you. Someone who believes in you. Someone who is invested in you.

27.  Ask to go to trials. Or train with boys. The worst they can say is ‘no’. Only way to bridge the gap is to train in a quicker environment.

28.  Versatility is a strength – don’t be fixated on specialisation. Play other sports – cross-learning. See point #9.

29.  Running makes you good at running. Lifting weights makes you good at lifting weights. Train with a ball as much as you can. Train what matters. See point #2.

30.  Don’t forget to have a life – go on that family holiday.

31.  Sleep and stress are extremely important for performance (and availability). See points #21 and #3.

32.  Your worth is not dependent on a team selection. Read that again. You are enough, but maybe you aren’t what the coach wants. Coaches all want different things, find one who values you.

33.  Know your role on a team. Every team needs substitutes, maybe that’s you for a short time. See point #11.

34.  A coach will always have their favourites. Sometimes it will be you. Sometimes it won’t – you can’t change that. Coaches aren’t perfect, they get things wrong, rarely is anything personal. See point #8.

35.  People aren’t against you, they’re for themselves. People want to avoid suffering and pursue happiness. A coach wants to win. See point #34.

36.  Every experience either fulfills a desire or enhances it – it is never in vain. Sometimes you need to learn what you don’t want to learn what you do want.

37.  What makes you the best version of yourself? Do more of that. Be aware when you stray – is it time for a break?

38.  Sharpen your axe – two people are trying to cut down a tree. One works tirelessly without taking any breaks, the other stops regularly, refuels, and sharpens their axe. The person who sharpens their axe cuts down the tree quicker.

39.  Sacrifice is just commitment rephrased.

40.  Confidence is not ‘I won’t make a mistake’ – confidence is, ‘I know I’ll fuck up, but I back myself to do it right next time.’

41.  Hard work is important, but it’s not the only thing you’ll need. You’ll also need a little bit of luck and an opportunity. See points #1 and #26.

42.  Seasons are long. The team that starts the first game of the season isn’t always the team that starts the last game of the season. Be patient.* Injuries happen. People leave. Players go on holidays. Your time might come. *See points #12 and #18.

43.  Learn to pivot. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

44.  Trials are daunting. Most of football is what you do without a ball. How can you stand out when you’re not on the ball? Be loud. Give direction. Encourage. See point #11.

45.  ‘Making it’ looks different for everyone. See points #6 and #20.

46.  Most importantly? Be someone your grandma would be proud of.