• nicole calder

over the past couple of months, i've really struggled with who i am. i've lost sight of my values. i've become fixated on things that i didn't think were important to me. i've become someone i didn't like.


the truth is, sometimes i get jealous. sometimes i shut down. sometimes i snap. sometimes i get angry. and i get angry at the people who haven't done anything wrong. this pains me because it goes against everything i believe in regards to being warm and compassionate. but as much as i wish i didn't do these things, i have to accept that part of being human means there might be times when you're not the person you want to be.


this is not from a lack of will - i can't think of anyone who would consciously choose to be someone they hated. it's usually because there are things in their way, environments that are unserving, or unresolved feelings perhaps, that are preventing that individual from thriving.


so as shit as these feelings are, they're necessary. necessary because they remind us that we're human. remind us of what's important. and remind us that we will always have room for improvement.


so the next time you find yourself slipping into someone you don't like, take a moment to reflect - to ask yourself what's really going on. what's really upsetting you. anger is not a feeling to be feared, it's a feeling to be used to fight for a better world. what angers us is what fuels us. find the source of that anger and use it to become a better version of you.

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  • nicole calder

it's about the principle.


i was recently demoted at work. demoted after being promised that nothing was changing with my role. demoted after being promoted only four months ago. demoted after working tirelessly in the past four months, often beyond my job description and pay grade. and demoted, again, after having this happen less than 18 months ago.


the reasoning? the owner couldn't justify my pay. couldn't justify the extra $100 a week i was 'costing' the business. from a business perspective, i get it - he has an assistant manager and a manager, why do they need a supervisor? from a human perspective? i do not.


the truth is, you can't treat people like that and expect them to stay. you can't use people when you need them and then cast them off to the side when you don't. your employees are more than just a number; they're more than just a 'cost'. they're people. and if you don't look after your people first? they definitely won't look after you.


this is the third time in the past three years where i have had pay taken from me. taken, despite me exceeding my value. so why does this keep happening to me? because i keep allowing it. because i understand. i understand when people are struggling. i care. but the problem with this approach? i'm then at a loss. no one else, only me. so i have a choice - i keep accepting this reality, this treatment, or i finally stand up for myself and say no: this is my value. this is my worth. if you can't see it and respect it, then i'll go somewhere that does.


it's not about the money. it's about the principle of being treated fairly. and if someone doesn't see your value? don't waste your energy fighting for it. spend that energy finding somewhere that does.

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  • nicole calder

too often, we take good people for granted. these are the people that are like candles - the ones who burn themselves to give light to others. they're the people who go above and beyond what their job is. they encompass the company or organisation's values and they don't ask for more. but what they do ask for? is fairness.


we often take these people for granted because we think they don't need recognition. they don't need thanks. after all, why would they be doing something they didn't want to do? but this mentality is so wrong. these are the people that need the most thanks. the most praise. humans can only offer so much without recognition. let me be clear though - the recognition is not why they're doing this - they're doing this because they believe in the company; they want to see it succeed. but they're human. they need to feel valued. they need to feel like their efforts matter. and they need to feel appreciated.


so the next time you're looking at offering someone payment, make sure you've offered it first to the ones who have been there longer. just because they've done what they've done, doesn't mean they'll continue to do what they do, especially if they know their efforts are being overlooked. these are often the people who have shown loyalty when others haven't. these are the people who care about more than just themselves. but if you don't take care of them? they'll become like everyone else - only out for themselves. and when this happens, it's not the fault of the individual - it's the result of the culture and environment.


so what are you actively doing to take care of the ones who are taking care of you and your organisation?

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