recent events have had me reflecting on my past, specifically my time in college. my four years in college were particularly challenging and it wasn't until i re-read my journal that i was reminded of the emotional struggle i experienced and the extreme loneliness i felt. i was also reminded of the all-encompassing darkness that consumed my mind and soul for almost a year.

i've written a lot about what it means to be a friend when someone is struggling - it's someone who doesn't try to fix you, but someone who is willing to sit with you through your shit. and i can write about this because i've experienced it.

and i've experienced it from my former teammate and roommate Ida Hepsø. she was the first person who showed me what being a friend really meant. i went through a really difficult, dark time in college and i put ida through a lot of shit too. i was horrible to her

- i often vented to her that no one cared, even though i knew she cared. and i said this because i was sick; my needs weren't being met. not by her, but by other people in my life.

it was ida though, who called my doctor when i was crying out for help. it was ida who came looking for me when i left a suicide note. and it was ida who was there for me, before, during, and after i hit rock bottom. and she was there despite everything i said, everything i did. and i genuinely could not be more thankful for the love, kindness, and patience she gave me. she helped save my life and she did so by never turning her back on me.

so for that, i thank her. i thank her for being the friend i so desperately needed. her friendship changed my life and i will forever be grateful to her for that.

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